Top 10 Things I've Learned from Owning a Dog

There are some things I've learned as a dog owner these past few years. These are things that no one tells you until it's too late. I am here to forewarn you, just in case you decide to purchase a dog.

Here are the top 10 things I've learned from being a dog owner.

  1. You never realize how large your dog's bladder is until you wake up in the morning and realize he's emptied it all over the new Oriental rug. You wonder how anything so small can hold so much water.
  2. If your dog is mad at you, he will find a way to have 3 accidents within 45 minutes of you taking him out to relieve himself. All of which will be on the living room floor.
  3. Your guard dog will growl and bark at the leaves blowing off the trees, but will conveniently sleep as the policemen are knocking at your door.
  4. When sleeping at night, your very large dog will lie sideways, across the bed, the wrong way making sure that you and your spouse will not be anywhere within 6 feet of each other, ever. This also means that both you and your spouse will be sleeping half off the bed, while your dog lays in comfort.
  5. Your dog will not climb stairs, but will climb onto the dashboard of your motorhome to make sure anyone that walks by notices him standing and drooling across your windshield.
  6. Your dog will insist on going out to do his business every hour, on the hour without a minute's delay. Take him outside and it takes him 45 minutes to turn around in circles to find the right position to leave his calling card.
  7. When bringing your dog to the vet, he will grumble and growl and be a vicious beast forcing you to wait outside in the pouring rain. Bring him inside and once he catches a glimpse of the vet, turns into a trembling, shy puppy, which has never seen a human before.
  8. When it comes time for you to relieve yourself, your dog will conveniently open the door to accompany you, just as you've begun. This is very important to your dog, as he will only do it while you have a house full of guests, and he knows the door is just out of reach for you while you're sitting.
  9. If for whatever reason you have to leave the house for less than 2 minutes, such as to bring the trash out or get the mail, your dog will miss you so greatly that he must claw the wood off of the door, the wall and the frame because he fears you will not be back for another 30 seconds.
  10. The most important thing I've learned as a dog owner is there is no better feeling than having your dog greet you at the door every time you come home from work. Especially when it's been a bad day.

Dogs can be great fun, but they can also be a handful. Looking back at the house my dog has destroyed, I wouldn't change a thing.

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